Sandee Sez: Put parenting on your to-do list
- Sandra Ahenakew | October 06, 2014
The new school year is here. Some are thrilled to see friends and start a new grade level. Some wish that summer would never end. I know many parents have been patiently waiting for school to start since the second week of summer holidays. Parents understand that teachers are there to teach, not to babysit; work with the teacher and make your child’s school year a success.
Remember this, “99 percent of life is showing up" - we can say the same thing about parenthood. So put parenting on your to-do list. Parental involvement is consistently linked to school success, even in higher grades. Studies have found that parents who visited the school regularly and encouraged education at home had higher social skills and lower rates of problems such as anxiety and depression.
Everyone is busy these days, but make time to make your child’s school experience a priority. Be present in your child’s school life. Read the notes that the teacher sends home and attend parent/teacher nights. Find out what your child is learning and ask how you can help them be successful. My favorite quote is from John F. Kennedy who said “If not us – who? If not now – when?" Education is a team sport so get involved, parents! Tapwe!
There are things we can do to ensure that our children have a successful school year. First, make sure they get plenty of sleep – sleep is brain fuel. Next, make sure your children are getting exercise. Students who are physically fit get better marks in school. In fact, some schools are experimenting with morning exercises as a way to boost concentration and improve test results. Find out if your child’s school has a good exercise program. Finally, play memory games with your child; research shows that the brain retains information better when it’s forced to retrieve it – using flash cards is a good example.
Change can be hard on our children. What do you do when your child comes home from school upset with his or her teacher? First of all, listen. It’s so important to listen to your child’s feelings. I found that if you let them vent, 99 percent of the problem will disappear. Don’t show up at your child’s school with the intent of yelling at the teacher and putting them in their place, as that is not very productive. Remember you and the teacher are on the same team – both of you want your child to succeed. Ask questions and find ways to help make school a positive experience.
The first year of high school can be so scary. Parents, pay close attention to your children’s behavior while they are in high school – many gangs recruit our children from schools. Enroll your children in sports and take them to their games – be present in their lives and show them you care.
For you older students, the first day of university classes is very much like the first day of elementary school. Feeling overwhelmed by university is normal. Everything is new and adjusting takes time. Unfortunately, the adjustment process is not always smooth and you may find you have missed assignments, forgotten deadline and totally bombed on exams. Every student is different, and some adjust faster than others. The change between high school and university is a huge; be patient.
Yes, some students adapt to university like fish to water, but most students adapt to university like dog to water (initially disoriented, but gradually getting use to it and even liking it). You’re not the only one, so don’t be shy and talk to other students about your questions and concerns. Ask others how they deal. If possible, find a few friends a couple of years ahead and ask them how they lived through it all (talk to the survivors!). Ask for advice, guidance, and maybe even mentorship. In fact, some schools offer mentorship programs for new students, so take advantage of them. Use the wisdom of people who have “been there, done that." Hang in there and if you make it through first year, you’re pretty much set.
Recognize that there are many ways of learning outside of schools and Universities. We have Elders in our communities who are eager to share their knowledge take advantage of these opportunities. Teach your young men how to hunt and share; take your children berry picking and show them how to gather food for the winter. Our people were given gifts and we need to find ways to keep our traditions going. Live a drug and alcohol free life and set the example for your children.
My advice to parents of university students; land the helicopter and let your kids find their own way. You don’t need to hover; they will be fine. Ekosi.
Keep your emails and letters and letters coming? You can write to me at Sandee Sez C/O Eagle Feather News PO Box 924 St Main, Saskatoon SK, S7K 3M4 or email.