That’s What She Said: Find a relationship worth staying in. Or don’t. Both are OK.
- Dawn Dumont | January 06, 2018
I saw a meme being shared on Facebook which basically said, “when your ex is still single and you’re not…so who really had the problem?” This annoyed the crap out of me because there is nothing wrong with being single. Just like there is nothing wrong with not being single. Also, there is nothing wrong with being single and really, really, really wanting to meet someone special but not meeting that person. And, there is nothing wrong with being single and not wanting to meet anyone at all. All that matters is that if you do meet someone that they improve your life because y’know, d’uh. Why would you be with someone if being with them is the relationship equivalent of chewing aluminum foil?
According to a Canadian statistic, 53% of adults are single. For one of the first times in Canadian history, single people outnumber the coupled up. So, if you are single, you are the normal one. Those people who sit on the couch together watching Netflix in between raiding the fridge and blaming the other one for sneaking farts – they are actually the freaks.
If you are young, it may feel like everyone but you, is in a relationship or at least dating someone. This is because you are horny. And that’s normal. When you’re young, your hormones are stronger than your brain which makes you think that a dude with perfect abs is basically a god, when he’s just a moron who loses his I.D. every other weekend. Or that girl with the nice boobs who made eye contact with you in the elevator - that one time - is the future mother of your children.
Not that older people don’t have hormones making them act the fool but it’s just more rare. Generally, if you see someone over the age of forty acting in an oversexed manner, it’s more ego than anything else and if you actually took them up on their open invitation, they would start to sweat like a bear in a sauna.
Which brings me to another point – do not get into relationships because you are bored and you crave some drama in your life. Mary J. Blige said, “no more drama” and she was not kidding around. Studies say that drama is the number one cause of embarrassing Facebook posts. And no one is immune. I was once in a relationship that was so messed up that the last thing we did every night after a date was to race to our computers to delete the other one on Facebook. I wish I was kidding. I’m sure right now you’re like, “whatevs, I’m not down with that cray-cray b.s.” If so, then ask yourself the following:
1. Have I ever thrown a cellphone?
2. Have I ever gotten so into a text fight so intense that I drove through multiple red-lights?
3. Have I ever asked a friend to decipher the meaning of a two-word text?
4. Have I ever asked another friend to decipher the interpretation of the above friend’s explanation?
5. Have I ever spent more than fifteen uninterrupted minutes describing my relationship to someone?
The worst part of being in a crazy relationship is that the longer you stay, the crazier you get. Like you could start out being a wee bit troubled. Then a month later you’re googling, “best techniques for keying a car.”
Nobody emerges from a dysfunctional relationship unscathed. Not even your poor friends who have to carefully choose their words when describing your partner – never knowing if you will be with them from week to week, “Is he/she coming to dinner? Or is he/she still the human equivalent of a slop-pail? Just checking in – no judgement.”
Everyone has had a nutty relationship but the difference is how long you put up with it. Just don’t stay in a relationship just for the sake of having someone to kiss on New Year’s Eve; that is not worth your time and it’s not even guaranteed anyway. Cuz I’ve been in a relationship for a few years now and I haven’t had a single New Year’s kiss – mostly because one of us is usually asleep waaaay before the clock strikes midnight.