The Dashing Chronicles: It takes a crazy guy who can write to share wisdom
- Winston McLean | May 01, 2014
So a few of the larger members of Dirk Nation and I were hanging about, extolling the virtues and vices of various political, economic and social developments.
Without a doubt members of the Dirk Nation are a wise and virile crew. And that night wisdom was flowing free. Many passers-by would linger longer than needed, hoping to eaves drop and gather up a stray piece of conversational wizardry they could later claim as their own.
We are not a selfish bunch. We share and inquire for the betterment of each other and the galaxy.
For hours this went on. Some ideas would soar. Others would crash hilariously to the floor.
Until the subject of women came up. It was as though we had been frozen in carbonite, just like Han Solo in the Empire Strikes Back. Only our hair looked better.
We sat there, blinking at each other until one brave soul volunteered, "I have this girlfriend." Pause. "Ex-girlfriend," he clarified. "I have no idea what the hell happened."
It should come as no surprise but the assembled members of Dirk Nation did not attack the woman's character nor her history. Cowards engage in such activity. Instead, we zeroed in on the story of the relationship, searching for clues to help our valued comrade reclaim what it was he lost...his confidence.
As you can imagine, there were several little things that contributed to his situation which, when added up, made the end inevitable. And ultimately, desireable.
But one topic fascinated the gang. Male sexual health.
In hushed voices we shared the secrets we had picked up on our respective journeys. Without naming names, we offered up discoveries that made our women giddy and gleam with pride, in the bedroom and out. Often accidentally.
Other revelations were the result of deep research, which surprised many of us that this kind of information existed. An even bigger surprise? None of it involved pornography.
As the evening unfolded we covered an incredible amount of ground. Confidence. Communication. Creating intimacy. Endurance. Technique. Diet. Communication. Patience. Healing. Exercise. Communication. Vision and mission. Even how to maintain "Johnson" without pills or creams.
And then someone announced, "Y'know, someone should write this down. I learned a lot tonight. I wish I knew this 10 years ago."
"Twenty years ago," another said. "I bet this could save marriages."
"And our sanity," still another added. "This is gold."
The first member of Dirk Nation continued, "If someone had a column he could write about this..."
"Yeah," said a second member, "a guy crazy enough to put this stuff out there."
Staring into the table I muttered, "Yeah, someone with a column. Who can write. Gotta be crazy though. A guy like me."
I looked up, and saw the guys staring at me as though I was their sad idiot cousin.
Then it struck me, "Hey, I'm a guy like me!"
But a moment of clarity descended upon me. "Some of our people are super conservative. The residential schools did a hell of a lot of damage. You think our people are ready for this?"
Answers to that question went back and forth for awhile until one of the larger members of Dirk Nation replied, "I bet our women would want us to know this."
You may be wondering how our buddy fared after our meeting. That was two months ago. The first couple of weeks were dodgy for him, but things improved. According to him, he applied the knowledge we imparted that fateful night.
While he's not the handsomest stud muffin out there, he went on 5 dates in the last two weeks and the ladies smile at the mention of his name - I know three of them and asked.
Why are they happy? He is devoted to their pleasure, and treats them with respect, in a manly, honourable way. But most important? He found his purpose, and carries himself like a man.
The question remains, what should Dirk do? Should he share the collective wisdom of the hardened members of Dirk Nation? Email him your replies and questions.
Dirk says, "There is not a shred of evidence to support the notion that life is serious."